Valentine’s Day 2018

This Valentine’s Day morning, it struck me that 13 Valentine’s Days ago I first saw a photograph of Mattie!

Even without having seen a photo of the little four year-old, I had already made my decision to meet her, with a view to adoption, but for some reason her social worker had failed to put her photo in the post (those of you who have read Dear Mummy, Welcome might remember this). I haven’t read my book since it was published in 2011, fearing it might perhaps be too emotional, but I remember exactly how I felt the moment I saw that large, brown paper envelope on the hallway carpet, and thinking that in only a matter of seconds I would see the face of my future daughter, a face I would know for the rest of my life. And how thrilled I was when I saw her! That adorable little face with the big, brown eyes, the mop of dark hair, the cheeky smile, the flowery dress. I remember placing the three photos of her around my kitchen and as I cooked a meal I couldn’t stop looking round and beaming at her.

Unfortunately for many, this Valentine’s Day will be a day they wished had never happened. I am talking of course about the mass shooting at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. When I think back, it must have been happening as Mike and I were eating our Valentine’s meal in our favourite Italian restaurant. It was a cold day and there was a fire in the grate and I had commented to Mike that several of the women seated at tables around us wore tops with hearts on them. When later we arrived home and learned of the high school shooting, it was sickening to hear the usual prayers and condolences and ‘now is not the time to talk about guns’, etc. I forecast to Mike that after two days of news reporting this mass shooting would disappear off the radar, as usual.

Luckily, I was wrong and almost two weeks on, the High School shooting still finds itself in the headlines. Finally, the National Rifle Association and all those hypocritical congressmen who have been their lackeys for so long, might possibly have met their match in the brave, articulate, passionate high school student survivors and their families.

I woke up this Valentine’s Day thinking of my joy on first seeing Mattie’s photograph on a Valentine’s Day 13 years ago. I cannot but wonder how many times the parents of the slain children must have looked back on this Valentine’s Day morning, the morning they last saw their sons or daughters alive.

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